he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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