it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
