i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
