Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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