the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
