Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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