Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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