I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
