the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
