Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
