sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
