So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
