Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
