he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
