In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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