ugly people sure do ruin things
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
