My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize