I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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