How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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