You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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