wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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