is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize