it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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