I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
