so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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