it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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