i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Randomize
