am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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