Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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