I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
