my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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