need another drink. this is the easiest way
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Randomize
