i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
