I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
