shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
vagina is talking i cant
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
