It's like God shit irony all over that family
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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