You work out of a Hotel?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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