I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
