at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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