Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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