I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
