I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
