just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
