You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
