no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
