Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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