I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
