Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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