She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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