Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
