First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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