Who wears a wallet chain?!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
