she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize