i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
