She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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