Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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