I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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