**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
