If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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