That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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