Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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