toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
