I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Green mimosas i think yes
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
