put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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