I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
