Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
