remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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