u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
