Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
