What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Rumble strips road head = magical
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
